When Should I Consider Adoption?

Infertility can be all consuming. Many couples dive into all the testing and treatments for infertility and feel dragged down emotionally. I know we did! They may not think of considering other paths to parenthood.

First consider how long do you want to pursue infertility treatment? Are you comfortable exploring adoption at the same time? For some couples, exploring other paths to parenthood can help alleviate some of the stress of infertility treatment.

Personally, during our infertility journey, we considered adoption early on. However, we didn’t meet with agencies until a few years into our journey. It is a very personal process with many things to consider.

Early on, we started talking about where we both were in terms of adoption. What did we know about adoption? Did we know any other families that have adopted? It can be a difficult subject to start talking about, but once we started exploring what it means to each other, we learned a lot.

Next, attend a free information session at a local adoption agency. We attended our first one at Catholic Charities. It was great to learn about all the different types of adoption, the costs, and how long each one takes. A simple internet search can help you understand more, too. Learning about adoption felt a little like I was giving up on natural parenthood because it felt so different. We still continued to pursue treatment through FertilityCare and NaPro Technology and other providers though.

After attending the information session, we felt like we could have a more informed discussion around adoption. My husband was more interested in international adoption and I was more interested in domestic infant adoption. Honestly, the costs were overwhelming. So, we decided to discern some more. At that time in our marriage, we were both working a lot and it was difficult to really see how a new child would fit into our lifestyle, honestly. It wasn’t until I was willing to cut back on my work, was I able to really see how a child would fit into our lives.

Over our family building experience, we met with four different agencies. We read multiple books and discussed our thoughts a lot. We found it very helpful to talk with other couples that have adopted and to meet with the different agencies to see which one was the best fit for us. Once we found the right agency for us. the process moved incredibly fast. This was just our experience, and every couple I have talked with about adoption had their own timeline.

We found by pursuing information about adoption, we were filled with more hope. Hope that we would be parents someday. We have 1 son that we adopted at birth domestically. His adoption story starts way before he was born and we hope to share our journey with him when he is older so he knows how much we wanted him. Adoption wasn’t nearly as overwhelming once we found the right agency for us, so my best piece of advice is to keep talking with your spouse looking for an agency that fits you.